I came home from work with a positive outlook. It's the weekend! It's a holiday! No work for 3 days! So many exciting thoughts and happy feelings and now they've all dissipated. It's a shame really. I started cleaning out one of my closets in that hopeful fervor, but now I'm just laying here on my bed and what was once so nicely hidden inside the closet is now on the outside dirtying up the rest of the apartment. If I ever finish this task I plan to keep my cooler & sleeping bag & toboggan in there. If I don't then I'll probably just shove the mess of empty cans & bottles & winter apparel back in there and call it a day.My playlist ended. That means 2 hours have passed and I have nothing to show for it except for several uneventful phone calls that left me feeling socially awkward & boring. I don't like talking on the phone, but sometimes one simply has too. It's how one reaches the people who aren't present.
I'm hungry. About an hour ago I stated I was going to buy eggs. Then I put a headband in my hair, wandered around my apartment for awhile, and lay down on my bed again. I'm not good at living by myself. I lack focus and no one's around to ask me why I'm wandering around looking at my headband in various mirrors and mumbling to myself.
Sometimes I imagine that I'm slowly losing my mind from boredom and this blog will turn into a modern day Bell Jar - A ridiculously dull Bell Jar where Esther half-assedly cleans her apartment and tries on an array of colorful headbands that she'll never wear in public because they make her short hair look stupid.
I'm going to buy eggs.
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