flipping out.

I reactivated my facebook account today. I said I would go a week and I did. Now I almost wish I had said a month. There's a lot of good to be said about the general idea of facebook. You can connect with old friends and share pictures and play games, etc. etc. Overall though, it seems like it's just too much information. You're not supposed to know what everyone is doing all the time, you're not supposed to know every detail of a near stranger's life or keep tabs on your ex even after they moved away, you're supposed to be able to lose random people from your past, it's the natural progression of things. Ignorance and drifting apart is what keeps people sane. At least that's what I think.

I really do like looking at other people's photo's though. Here's a photo Molly took from St. Patty's Day. The ESPN van in the parade was handing out these masks of this man's face. I have no idea who he is, but he is somehow connected to ESPN ergo sports. I bet Kendra knows who he is.

Today I watched an episode of The Mole on my computer and then shortly after dozed off. I didn't realize I had fallen asleep though because the next thing I knew I was waking up and when I looked at the clock it said 8. I jumped up cursing because I thought I was going to be late for work. I couldn't figure out what day it was and was debating whether or not to call my boss to tell her I overslept when everything clicked back into place. It was 8pm not am. The funny thing is that I couldn't have been asleep for more than about 20 minutes. Somehow I just got so confused.

I took a shower and went to Meijer to buy some groceries. While I was there Nick called and so I bought the both of us food and then went to his house so we could watch the new episode of Flipping Out, which is this reality series on Bravo about a guy who flips houses for a living. His name is Jeff Lewis. He's pretty funny. This week he had to fire his assistant, Jenni's, husband. This led to the deterioration of their marriage which was very sad. In her sadness, Jenni made several mistakes and stepped on a roofing nail in soft soft shoes. Jeff didn't get mad though because he really likes Jenni, but not so much her (soon to be ex) husband.

Now it's bedtime. Good night!

quit elbowing me in the flabia

Here's Nick talking to Jango. He's telling him not to jump out that window. Shortly thereafter he put the screen up. This also happened on the 4th of July. I took a lot of pictures that day.

I've now gone 48 hours without facebook. There are a few moments that are touch-and-go, but I haven't backed down yet. I aim to last at least a week. Today, in lieu of facebooking, I went shopping. I bought a few new shirts and a lovely short-sleeved cardigan. I love cardigans and now I can wear them in summer too!

Around 8:00 I headed down to Food Dance for a gathering. It was fun. To be honest, I was a little surprised. Lately I'm just trying to get out of my apartment because too much alone time is poison. I get angry and sad and pick fights with people who surely don't deserve it.

Last night I went to see Pirates of Penzance at Kindleberger. The chorus parts were pretty rough but the leads were strong which was the saving grace. As a small child was walking up the grassy aisle to his seat he tripped and spilled popcorn all over the blanket I was sitting on. I picked up the bag with what was left inside and handed it to the boy. He took it and ran away to his mother. Later, when he was sent to get some more, as he was passing me to get back to his mother with the second bag he turned and stared at me like "Bitch, don't you even be thinking you gonna get some of this bag." It was silly.

It's bedtime.

all out of love, all out of faith

I deactivated my facebook account for awhile. I didn't die. Nick put up a facebook status that makes it sound like I did, but I didn't.

My parents found this trapped raccoon on the fourth of July. This trap wasn't even set at the time the little fella got caught. Apparently, he's just a bit of a stupid raccoon. Cute as a button though. They thought he'd probably been there for a couple days. They thought he was stuck in there through the big storm. Poor guy, that must've been terrifying. He was somewhat protected by the eaves of the garage, but still, it was a bit storm.

The big storm did this to one of the maple trees in my parents' yard. It fell right on one of my dad's sheds and knocked out the power and the cable. It was a mess. Dad says he's thinking of taking the whole tree out now. He think there's something rotten in the middle. I used to climb that tree when I was small. Once I fell off of it and got the wind knocked out of me. True story.

Back to the sun, back to the shore

See that cookie? The one with a quarter of it missing? It's because I ate that quarter. Know what it tasted like? Vomit. Seriously, literally vomit. It was like someone puked on a cookie sheet, baked it and dipped half of it in chocolate. So gross. So hilariously gross. It was the most eventful thing that's happened to me at work in a long time.

One of my coworkers is a real bitch sometimes. I'm trying to be the bigger person and not hate on her, but she makes it so difficult. I have stories. Oh, do I have stories, but part of my trying is not telling the stories because I would color them with my hate and then they might just be mean.

I have a lot of anger lately. It leads to a lot of swearing. I'm trying to release it into the air. Put it in a boat and send it out to sea. There's no easy way out of the things that I think are causing the bulk of it though so it just keeps building up. Maybe I should start focusing on accomplishing the hard out. I'm on a four year plan and the four years are almost up.

I went to have ice cream with Kelly DiPisa. I hadn't seen her in awhile. She's a nice girl. We had Coldstone.

I keep telling myself I'm going to vacuum and someday I will, but not this day.

Early bird gets the worm.

Or maybe early bird just sets her alarm wrong and what she gets is being up early for no good reason. That's what happened to me. I stayed up too late last night and intended to wake up around 8 :30, but here it is 7:30 and I'm annoyingly awake and know that it would be disastrous for me to try and sleep for one more hour and then get up. It simply wouldn't work. Body don't play that game. So, here I am. I'm probably going to need a nap later.

This is Sarrah. It's her birthday today. This is the face she makes when I tease her for something she said in reprimanding her child. I wish I could remember what it was, because it struck me as pretty funny.

She's getting better at reprimanding her child. I remember when Cece got reprimanded for playing with an electrical socket. It was melodramatic & uncomfortable. She took the scare tactic approach delivering an impassioned speech about electrocution. She takes the more no nonsense approach now. When Cece ate 50 Tums and wasn't allowed any dairy for the next couple days due to calcium overload, Sarrah just sat her down and had a conversation about how you shouldn't take grown up medicines even if they look like candy because then you might have to go to a place where you never get to see your mommy & daddy again (death, she's talking about the place of death). Which I suppose is also somewhat of a scare tactic, but I like to imagine the delivery was more calm & well-reasoned because that's just the truth, yo. I suppose either way worked though because Cece doesn't do either of those things anymore. I just always get uncomfortable around impassioned speeches.

Sarrah used to be named Sarah but she changed it in high school because she was feeling angsty & rebellious as high schoolers are want to do. Somehow it stuck. My mom still refuses to spell it that way. I think she feels a little put out that her spelling wasn't good enough. It's Sarrah's name though and I suppose she can do whatever she wants with it. Once you give someone something to have as their own you can't really dictate what they do with it.

I think I'll go take a shower now. Then perhaps I'll have time to stop somewhere and buy Sarrah a birthday present.

There once was a vortex...

I came home from work with a positive outlook. It's the weekend! It's a holiday! No work for 3 days! So many exciting thoughts and happy feelings and now they've all dissipated. It's a shame really. I started cleaning out one of my closets in that hopeful fervor, but now I'm just laying here on my bed and what was once so nicely hidden inside the closet is now on the outside dirtying up the rest of the apartment. If I ever finish this task I plan to keep my cooler & sleeping bag & toboggan in there. If I don't then I'll probably just shove the mess of empty cans & bottles & winter apparel back in there and call it a day.

My playlist ended. That means 2 hours have passed and I have nothing to show for it except for several uneventful phone calls that left me feeling socially awkward & boring. I don't like talking on the phone, but sometimes one simply has too. It's how one reaches the people who aren't present.

I'm hungry. About an hour ago I stated I was going to buy eggs. Then I put a headband in my hair, wandered around my apartment for awhile, and lay down on my bed again. I'm not good at living by myself. I lack focus and no one's around to ask me why I'm wandering around looking at my headband in various mirrors and mumbling to myself.

Sometimes I imagine that I'm slowly losing my mind from boredom and this blog will turn into a modern day Bell Jar - A ridiculously dull Bell Jar where Esther half-assedly cleans her apartment and tries on an array of colorful headbands that she'll never wear in public because they make her short hair look stupid.

I'm going to buy eggs.