I can be alone. I can watch a sunset on my own.

Lately my eye twitches, but only at work. It's just been the past few weeks, but I think that's long enough to be irritating. I forget about it when I'm not at work. It didn't twitch all weekend but about an hour after I went back to work this morning it starting going like crazy. It may be a sign. My eye is warning me. If I don't get out soon my whole body will probably start going into convulsions.

This picture is from Friday. Nick & I art hopped. This hideous vomity beast is placed on the corner outside of Monaco Bay. Nick thought he was disgusting. So did I. We had dinner at food dance. I had a Cobb salad.

Nick's never seen the Mackinac Bridge despite living in Michigan for 27 years. I think this is ridiculous. I told Kendra about it and she said it isn't ridiculous. Whatever. I still think it's ridiculous because I've been over it several times and therefore assume everyone should have. At any rate, Nick & I are going to Mackinac on the 17th so he can be in the know. Weather permitting we're going to ride bicycles around Mackinac Island. It's going to be sweet.

Cece's birthday party was Sat. I ate two cupcakes and caught up on all the birthdays I had missed buying presents for. Not only Cece, but also Kennedy and Galileo, are now taken care of for this birthday year. I just have to stay on the ball to make sure I don't miss Lila. I have a month. I'm golden.

I think I'm going to bed now. I could type more, but I just don't feel like it.

A glimpse into the past

Back in college I would occasionally journal in random notebooks while waiting for class to start (or end). I found this delight while cleaning. It delights me more than others I've found because I actually remember this incident. It happened as I was walking to class up Grand River from the house on Cornell, just as I was passing the bus stop across the road from Abbott.


November 6, 2002, 6:43 p.m. from Kresge Hall: I think a homeless man mocked me. I was minding my own business, walking to ISP 205 when he stopped me by a bus stop on Grand River. He asked if i had 32 cents so he could ride the bus. I told him I was sorry but I didn't have any change on me. To this he replied, "Look, it doesn't matter. You look as good as hell anyway." Confused, I thanked him quietly and walked away. I was baffled. Was he complimenting me? I somehow didn't think so. I looked a fright. My face was puffy with sleep and my hat was covering my messy poof of dirty hair. So, then was he insulting me because I didn't have change? What kind of an odd thing is that to do? "You don't carry change around. You're ugly!" Good as hell can't be very good since hell is evil. It's like he thought I owed him something.

Hilarious! Oh, college Mary, you were so delicate and overanalytical. Le sigh.

Rage against the dying of the light

Was subjected to an unpleasant bit of road rage and general assholey-driverishness tonight. I was on my way home from Nick's when some douche in a red truck with a ladder on top (yet not a firetruck) tried to pass me in the left turn lane. It wouldn't have been a big deal except for the fact that I was wanted to pull into said left turn lane and they almost caused an accident. I honked my horn loudly in condemnation and then got behind them. We turned on to Gladys and then doucheman swerved onto the fork that goes off to the right. I thought he was heading for the Burger King but when I turned to glance at him I saw that he had just pulled over parallel to the street and was leaning out his open driver's side window to shout something at me whilst shaking his fist. I don't know what he was shouting but it didn't appear to be anything very nice.

Ever since "the incident" I've had an uneasy feeling like doucheman is going to come after my car and perhaps vandalize it. I dont' trust that angry man. He wasn't anywhere I could see when I parked but, at the same time, my car is just so damn distinctive. There are also little bits of paranoia lingering that make me afraid that the man will find my car and then somehow find my apartment and then find me in my apartment and be mean to me. It's ridiculous though. Stupid overactive imagination making mountains out of molehills. Stupid moody me sticking it to bad-driving jerks and then getting nervous when they stick it back. I think I'm losing my grip on my serenity. Ah, and I was doing so well.

On the plus side, Nick & I did finish season 3 of Supernatural. Now we're fully ready for season 4 to start on Thurs.

This picture seen above was taking in June when we had the tornado warning. I chose it because it's been rainy lately and it shows a little bit of my disctinctive car. I'm going to sleep now.

Why does it always rain on me?

This is what I look like when I ride in boats. Yeah, I'm pretty cool.

I haven't blogged in a very long time. Really, I suppose it was kind of a rough summer though I couldn't tell you why. Nothing bad happened per se, sometimes I just go through moody adjustment phases. I'm moody. It's true. I spent the last few weeks of July and just about all of August on mental vacation in Forks, WA. I just read that Twilight series over and over. It became like some odd sort of literary drug. I had to give them to Kristin though so she could read them and that was good. A healthy break.

I kept reading through the remainder of August and early Sept. I read and read and read and read. My favorites were "The Host" by Stephenie Meyer & "The Time Traveler's Wife" by Audrey Niffenegger. (Why does blogger not give underlining as an option up top?) I recommend them both. They're delightful. I had read "Time Traveler's Wife" before, but just about completely forgotten it. There's a movie of it coming out around Christmas and I'm excited.

This unplanned reading whirlwind turned out to be cathartic though and I came out on the other side with some weird inner peace. Not the inner peace that you try to thrust upon yourself like Bridget Jones but the actual inner peace that comes with accepting problems and moving on. Just like in that serenity prayer. I am serene. Not completely serene like a smooth lake but far from a dark stormy sea. It's fun. I think maybe it's because all the reading made me use my brain again. The tedium of my daily life makes it possible to occasionally go for weeks without really using it.

Anywho, when I'm not reading or working I'm usually at Nick's house because we're making our way through Supernatural on DVD. We finished season 2 early last week and now are plugging away through season 3 to see if we can finish it by the time for season 4 which starts on the 18th. I have my doubts, but that's why they reshow me TV on the internet.

Went out for someone's birthday last night. We went to The Wine Loft which has a lovely atmosphere and I kind of love it there. I always discount Kalamazoo as a real city. Maybe because I grew up so close to it, maybe simply because it's too small, but I'm starting to realize that there's a fair amount to take advantage of here and, as a city, it's starting to come into it's own. These new places I've been to like The Wine Loft and the new Sprout (which is a restaurant where they serve me lovely curry) are more reminiscent of places I used to go in London rather than good old downtown Kalamazoo. Besides the loveliness of the atmosphere I had a good time with the people even though these large social events are usually a bit much for me. I think it's the reading-inflicted inner peace and perhaps the fact that I know a lot more people than I did a year ago. There were all sorts of people to talk to last night. It was crazy.

Well, that was a lot of ridiculous blather, but I suppose I had to make up for a couple months of absence. There go.

P.S. It's been raining for about three days straight. I'm tired of being moist.

Mary says: Read this book.

This book was marvelous. It had the misfortune of being read throughout the tornado that was my obsession with the Twilight series ergo it did not get the focus it deserved, but still, read it. It's hilariously funny and devestatingly heartbreaking and only 240 pages. I just finished it this evening and surprised myself by actually blurting out a distraught "no!" at one of the revelations. I didn't even tell my mouth to speak, it just did.

Lately I've been spending a lot of alone time reading and thinking and eating atrociously. I daresay that is what has led to my five pound weight gain and my recent troubles with acid reflux. Nevertheless, I think it's been good mentally. Well, maybe not the weight gain. The weight gain has been very bad mentally and physically, but other things have been good. I don't really feel like going into details though.

I haven't written for quite awhile. I wonder what's been happening. Ari & Jim's wedding happened. JaneBash. Work - lots of work. I haven't been taking as many pictures though. I guess I sort of lost sight of why I made that resolution which was to pay more attention to my surroundings and value moments more. I mostly feel ok about it though because right now my camera's kind of craptastic. That's what happens when you drop it in McDonald's parking lots and let it get shifted down to the bottom of your purse with all your junk sitting on top. Sorry camera. I'd be more sorry though if this picture of Cece that could be beautiful wasn't all smeary. I like it anyway though and decided to share.

I'm going to go attempt to fold the clothes in my laundry basket that I washed three weeks ago and maybe do some dishes. Books are inspiring.

flipping out.

I reactivated my facebook account today. I said I would go a week and I did. Now I almost wish I had said a month. There's a lot of good to be said about the general idea of facebook. You can connect with old friends and share pictures and play games, etc. etc. Overall though, it seems like it's just too much information. You're not supposed to know what everyone is doing all the time, you're not supposed to know every detail of a near stranger's life or keep tabs on your ex even after they moved away, you're supposed to be able to lose random people from your past, it's the natural progression of things. Ignorance and drifting apart is what keeps people sane. At least that's what I think.

I really do like looking at other people's photo's though. Here's a photo Molly took from St. Patty's Day. The ESPN van in the parade was handing out these masks of this man's face. I have no idea who he is, but he is somehow connected to ESPN ergo sports. I bet Kendra knows who he is.

Today I watched an episode of The Mole on my computer and then shortly after dozed off. I didn't realize I had fallen asleep though because the next thing I knew I was waking up and when I looked at the clock it said 8. I jumped up cursing because I thought I was going to be late for work. I couldn't figure out what day it was and was debating whether or not to call my boss to tell her I overslept when everything clicked back into place. It was 8pm not am. The funny thing is that I couldn't have been asleep for more than about 20 minutes. Somehow I just got so confused.

I took a shower and went to Meijer to buy some groceries. While I was there Nick called and so I bought the both of us food and then went to his house so we could watch the new episode of Flipping Out, which is this reality series on Bravo about a guy who flips houses for a living. His name is Jeff Lewis. He's pretty funny. This week he had to fire his assistant, Jenni's, husband. This led to the deterioration of their marriage which was very sad. In her sadness, Jenni made several mistakes and stepped on a roofing nail in soft soft shoes. Jeff didn't get mad though because he really likes Jenni, but not so much her (soon to be ex) husband.

Now it's bedtime. Good night!

quit elbowing me in the flabia

Here's Nick talking to Jango. He's telling him not to jump out that window. Shortly thereafter he put the screen up. This also happened on the 4th of July. I took a lot of pictures that day.

I've now gone 48 hours without facebook. There are a few moments that are touch-and-go, but I haven't backed down yet. I aim to last at least a week. Today, in lieu of facebooking, I went shopping. I bought a few new shirts and a lovely short-sleeved cardigan. I love cardigans and now I can wear them in summer too!

Around 8:00 I headed down to Food Dance for a gathering. It was fun. To be honest, I was a little surprised. Lately I'm just trying to get out of my apartment because too much alone time is poison. I get angry and sad and pick fights with people who surely don't deserve it.

Last night I went to see Pirates of Penzance at Kindleberger. The chorus parts were pretty rough but the leads were strong which was the saving grace. As a small child was walking up the grassy aisle to his seat he tripped and spilled popcorn all over the blanket I was sitting on. I picked up the bag with what was left inside and handed it to the boy. He took it and ran away to his mother. Later, when he was sent to get some more, as he was passing me to get back to his mother with the second bag he turned and stared at me like "Bitch, don't you even be thinking you gonna get some of this bag." It was silly.

It's bedtime.